A quiet revelation about grace, presence, and becoming
For most of my life, Christmas Eve carried a holiness that could be felt in the air.
A reverence. A state of grace. A deep, sacred peace.
This year, that feeling was gone.
And what I discovered instead changed everything.
🎄 The Absence That Spoke Loudly
For the first time in 68 years, or at least as far back as I can remember as a young child, Christmas Eve did not feel holy.
There was no familiar sense of reverence.
No emotional hush.
No sacred pause that had always arrived without effort.
Christmas Day had always been a celebration.
But Christmas Eve, that was the holy ground.
And this year, there was… nothing.
I noticed it.
I questioned it.
I even wondered for a moment if I had somehow forsaken God.
But the truth that emerged was far deeper than guilt or doubt.
💡 The Realization
This was not about God abandoning me.
This was about a pattern dissolving.
I realized that what was missing was not grace itself.
What was missing was the old structure that told me when I was supposed to feel it.
For years, I have been quietly erasing inherited belief systems.
Traditions.
Conditioned moments of meaning.
Unspoken rules about holiness and timing.
This Christmas Eve was the first time I could not access the feeling through the ritual.
And that’s when it landed.
✨ “You don’t stand inside a day and call it holy.
You become it.”
🌿 A New Time and Space
This wasn’t loss.
It was a quantum leap.
A shift into a new time and space where grace is not assigned to a date on the calendar.
What I saw clearly was this:
I have not lost my connection to God.
My relationship with God has deepened so profoundly that it no longer needs a container.
I live in His grace now.
Every day.
Not because of a moment.
Not because of tradition.
But because of presence.
✨ “I stopped looking for holiness in one night
because I had already become it.”
🙏 Becoming the State of Grace
What once arrived on Christmas Eve has become my daily ground.
The grace.
The reverence.
The communion with the grandness of the universe.
I don’t visit it anymore.
I inhabit it.
And this matters, because it changes how I show up in the world from here on in.
This is not nostalgia.
This is discernment.
This is what happens when belief systems loosen their grip and truth steps forward.
🌟 The Moral of the Story
I didn’t lose anything.
I remembered.
- 💫 I remembered who I am at a core level.
- 💫 I recognized my purpose for being here.
- 💫 I reconnected to my higher power and intuition, God’s voice within me.
And from that place, I know how to live.
✨ “Heaven on earth isn’t found on a holy day.
It’s lived when you stop outsourcing grace.”
🤍 Final Reflection
This revelation didn’t take anything away from Christmas.
It freed me from needing it to hold something I already carry.
That is not loss.
That is transcendence.
✨ And it is one of the most sacred understandings I have ever received.
